You don't hear that everyday

Florida man crashes a stolen police car then steals another.

 That's better than Keystone Cops.

Remember kiddos don't do the PCP.

Somebody twist up a hogleg I'm calling a safety meeting

I would put at least one orange strap on that

 Maybe a beaner or two

Why does the Air Force have a tank?

 

It's hardly ever Bobby Jo

It usually starts with a La, De or Da.

But as loyal viewers of BNN you probably already knew that. 

Daddy please don't shoot mommy is a hell of a thing.

 

Search underway for man who shot toddler in leg in Denton County 

Authorities are searching for a man in Denton County they say shot at his girlfriend’s car, striking a toddler inside.

The shooting happened at the Watts Grocery Store in Hackberry Thursday around 2 p.m.

Police say 25-year-old Demetrius Davis drove up to the store and shot at his girlfriend’s car with her child and her sister inside. The toddler was shot in the leg.

Police say Davis then ran away. They are currently searching for him.

The child was taken to the hospital and is said to be stable.

 

I would wait at the hospital for him.

That way when he comes to pay the bill you can nab him no shots fired.

You know how much young Demetrius' pride revolves around takin care of his kids.

This kind of enlightened police work is the way forward.

Well at least this incident will prevent him from possessing a gun ever again.

So we got that going for us.

That is all.

 

 

Snitches get stiches

 

No,godammit the picnic is IN my pants

 Engineers fuck everything up.

Lost in translation I guess.

The nomenclatures don't line up too well.

Mine usually are"I can't it doesn't fucking fit".

Theirs are "That's unusual it should fit".

You don't hear that everyday

Woman breaks into strangers home strips naked and gets into bed

A woman has been arrested after she allegedly sneaked into a man’s home, stripped naked and jumped into one of his beds.

Police say they do not know each other.

Authorities in Texas were called to the house when the man discovered the strange woman in one of his bedrooms.

The Killeen Daily Herald reports the bizarre 'who’s been sleeping in my bed' story has left cops stumped.

 

I would much prefer to get my pyschos at the bar.

I don't need self delivery.

Not noticing Kayla had her bangs trimmed is costly

Vince got no game.
 

I got it one piece at a time

 

Welcome to Daytona Beach

 

You don't see that everyday

 Do you know what it is?

I prefer Toys in the attic

But that's just me.
 

Fake news that's not the Vice President

 

Ill do whatever I want with my stimulus check

Stimulus is supposed to be stimulating.
 

I'll never watch Maine Cabin Masters the same way ever again

 Another Maine hippie just what we need.

That is not mint.

Man I hate huffers

If it's got wheels there's a race somewhere

You don't hear that everyday

Fugitive armed with crossbow caught trying to flee Australia on jet-ski

A fugitive armed with a crossbow was caught by Australian police while trying to flee the country on a jet ski, authorities said.
The 57-year-old man, who is wanted on drug charges, fled the remote Saibai Island and was attempting to reach Papua New Guinea on Monday when he was chased down and captured by the Australian authorities.
The jet skiing suspect was carrying a crossbow, gas, and other supplies at the time of his apprehension.
“Australian Federal Police officers along with our colleagues from Australian Border Force and Queensland Police Service found the hapless fugitive on the mudflats of Saibai Island in the Torres Strait,” the Australian feds said in a statement.

A for effort F for execution.
Looks like the Aussies need to look into crossbow control.
Some folks kids man.

You don't hear that everday

Surprisingly not Florida Man

Louisiana man accused of breaking into home wearing gorilla suit

SULPHUR, LA (KPLC) - A Louisiana man has been arrested by Sulphur Police after allegedly breaking into a home while wearing a gorilla suit, according to Mel Estess with Sulphur Police.
The investigation began on Feb. 13, when SPD got a call about a suspicious person in an all-black costume walking the streets and going into resident’s yards. When officers arrived on the scene they learned a male subject was looking through windows of homes and sneaking through yards.
According to Estess, officers located the suspect, later identified as Jeremie Moran, and gave verbal commands for him to stop. Moran then fled from officers into a home. Police established a perimeter around the home and observed the back door opening, said Estess. Police believed Moran had fled the residence and began attempting to locate Moran on foot.
After a short time officers learned that Moran had not left the house and proceeded to search the home. Estess says Moran was found wearing a black gorilla suit and hiding under a mattress in the home. 

Some peoples kids.
This disguise seems kinda racist I think they should tack on some hate crime charges.
PETA unavailable for comment on this total disrespect for all simians concerning the stereotype of lightfingered monkeys.
Remember kiddos don't do the meth.